Keep your @!?#% scorn to yourself!!!

Deep Breath ... Exhale ...

Deep Breath ... Exhale ...

Deep Breath ... Exhale ...

That is basically what I was thinking about telling my wife. I did not dare say it out loud. After knowing her 20 years, I have learned when to say "helpful" things. Today was NOT one of them.

She was doing some things for her ailing mother and lugging our three kids with her. The last two days have been difficult from outside influences and therefore Flynn has not even come close to being on a good routine/schedule. Autism loves routine. He has also been a little under the weather. Two days of bad routine and illness does not bode well for productivity.

In a nut shell, after taking the kids to places they do not perform well in, they ended up at the grocery store to gather things for my mother-in-law. Grocery stores and big box retail stores are hell on earth for Flynn. He acted out and acted out loudly at the check out lane.

Needless to say, when a helpful high school age bag girl got down in Flynn's personal space and did the goofy sounding "how are you doing" and "how old are you" and "my you seem to be in a bad mood today" and ... you get the picture. Then she did the worst thing possible, she tried to push the shopping cart ... Very Bad Move! He exploded and after this last and by far the loudest scream of the shopping trip the entire store did the "movie-like" head turn and stare. Jaws dropped open, people mumbled their condescension and good old fashioned scorn covered their faces.

This is when my wife did what made me very proud of her. She defended her brood. She looked in three different directions and said to each group in a loud, stern, commanding and mostly motherly protective tone ... "He has autism ... Are we supposed to wear a T-shirt around for you people" and something to the effect of "mind your business".

This is very unlike us. Normally we would be apologetic and attempt not to disturb other peoples' space and peace. But this time, the peoples' undue facial scorn was rude and insensitive to our family, not the other way around. So sometimes people need to Mind Their Own Damn Business and keep your unsolicited attitudes to your own F@CKING selves. We are trying to raise an ASD child and buy F@CKING groceries. Solve your own damn problems you have before you look down your nose at us!!!!!!!! Did you ever think that maybe there is more to what meets the F@CKING eye!!!!!! We might just have issues we are dealing with that you don't know a F@CKING thing about.

Whew! I was proud of my wife today. She left with tears in her eyes and trying to stay composed with her head up. We have two other children who are watching. Some days, autism can be a blessing in disguise. Today was not one of them. Some days are simply hard. I wish people would be more understanding nowadays. They might be the ones in a similar position in the future.

Friends, Family and Causes

A few things have happened in the past couple of days that have reminded me that life is a precious gift that needs to be loved and lived.

I had a veterans foundation group call asking for a donation. I told the nice lady, like I tell anyone who calls with a worthy cause, that I do my giving through my church. I know my church and the worthy efforts they support. I feel comfortable with how they serve the community ... local and outside our area. I also had a high school friend of mine die yesterday from a multi-year and difficult battle with breast cancer ... she leaves behind a loving family and a young daughter.

It got me to thinking about causes that I have personally been touched by and that are worthy of support.

• I have a son with autism. Autism awareness and prevention are my focus of my time and money right now.
• I have had a brother fight for our country, been in serious fire fights and had friends of his die. Our military and our veterans are worthy.
• I have had a grandfather and father-in-law die of lung cancer. Cancer prevention and cures need to be found.
• I have a sister-in-law who is battling breast cancer and of course my friend who passed yesterday. Breast cancer awareness and prevention need to be backed.
• I have had my mom die from dementia. Hers was early onset that started when she was 60. She passed last year at the age of 65. Both of my grandmothers died of Alzheimer related/caused illnesses. My mother-in-law is suffering from the early stages of Alzheimers. All forms of dementia that effect so many of our seniors needs a cure.
• I have a brother who's daughter is suffering from a bipolar disorder. Mental health care requires someone to champion their needs.
• I have had numerous, numerous, numerous friends and their families dealing with differing bouts of dementia, cancer, autism and other mental disorders. They all deserve help, support and appropriate legislation.
• I have learned of a young child my sons age who is suffering from a disease that I have never heard of and I could not even pronounce. That child's parents are having to deal with a rare illness that no average person knows anything about. Who is leading a cause on behalf of that family?????

There are so many worthy and needing children, families, individuals and loved ones that need help and support. Where do all of these people go? How can everyone get the help they need? Who helps the ones who have no one looking out for them or helps those people who are dealing with illness that are outside the mainstream of the publics consiousness?

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

All I know is that I will do what I can for those loved ones in the sphere that I can positively impact with my love, prayers, actions, research and determination. I may not have the pocket book to do all the worthwhile things that I would like ... but I can do what I can do!